Follow these tips and the brownie points will roll in. Trust me, I’m a professional.
If you don’t know about the five love languages, let me bring you up to speed really quickly. In 1995, Dr. Gary Chapman published a book titled The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. It’s an incredibly popular book and has transformed many relationships. It’s true – we do all receive and give love in different ways and Dr. Chapman’s book is brilliant for helping you identify those ways.
Dr. Chapman’s 5 Love Languages are…
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
Here are some ideas for each love language, to help you show love to your significant other:
First up, Words of Affirmation. Sounds self-explanatory, but there’s so many ways we can show love through our words. People who receive love this way often love specific compliments or encouragements. Why not tell them seven different things that you specifically love about them? Try one each day for the next week. Or, intentionally compliment something they do well? Often, public and visible praise means a lot to these people, so why not throw up a #blessed post on social media about them?
Quality Time people are all about meaningful time together. It’s not just enough to spend time, the quality makes a big difference. Yeah, sometimes it’s nice to hang out, just scrolling on your phones together, but quality time is about attention. Why not suggest a whole evening that is phone-free? In fact, go crazy and make it technology free? Ask your partner (subtly) what makes quality time ‘quality’ for them and then surprise them with a date doing just that!
Next, it’s Receiving Gifts. This sounds obvious, so we’re going to get a little creative here. There’s a good chance that your partner has something that they always buy for themselves. For my wife, for example, it’s makeup. That doesn’t come from our joint budget, she takes care of that. Why not treat them to a) the thing they normally buy or b) a gift-card to the place they buy it from? Even better, if you give a little card saying, “This is for you to buy that lipstick you like because I know you’re running low”, you’ll double up on those brownie points for knowing them so well. High-5!
Acts of Service folks love when you do things for them. One of the easiest ways to serve them is to do take on a household chore or task that they do and do it for the week. For example, if they normally make the coffee in the morning, why not beat them to it and make it for them instead? If he always does the dishes, why not take on washing up duty for a week. It’s a simple, but meaningful way to show you care.
Finally, we come to Physical Touch. This one is fairly straightforward. Just up your snuggle game. Don’t be annoying (that’s a good principle in general), but make a concise effort to connect of a physical level. If you’re married, have sex once or twice more than you normally would. If you’re out together, hold your partner’s hand. Don’t just greet them with a kiss when you get home from work, have a hug!
Simple things = massive meaning.