Yes, I’m one of those people. I like having control. Being denied a discount, promotion, or achieving a dream is incensing. Like many control freaks, I cling to my goals until I fall to my knees in desperation or come off a few emotional hinges.
I remember working on Fifth Avenue in New York City as an administrative assistant in my early 20s, a place I always wanted to work. I wanted to be a city girl. But no matter what I did, nothing seemed achievable. Domestic quarrels ensued at home, my hair was falling out from stress, and even the smallest things fell apart — like buying a bad bagel in New York. (How does that even happen in the Big Apple?) I was also under a music contract that fell through. Yeah. It was a lot.
So, I was left questioning, “Hey God, is this your ‘no’ or a lack of faith?”
It took me weeks to recuperate from God’s reverberating ‘no’.
As we know, God has an unadulterated design for all of us, despite all of our erroneous choices and broken dreams we keep hidden. What I needed to do was to survey everything through His lens. So, after I harnessed my emotions, I let God be God. Fancy that?
When dreams die, your heart breaks. You lose hope, perhaps even your identity. What helped me, and what will help you, is taking this stance: “Lord, if not having this (your dream) brings you more glory, so be it.” This is not a cure-all, but you can’t fight God, you won’t win. He’s knows the end-game. Let Him have your dreams, your goals. If you don’t, you’ll just become more exhausted and angry.
God’s Plan “B”
I didn’t know it at the time, but God stirred another passion in me and that was to become a journalist. It wasn’t easy, but there was an ease about the opportunities and people who came along to bless me, nothing like earlier. I had a peace and I was thrilled He took me out of New York because I would have missed many blessings along the way.
What is God saying to you about your plan “B”?
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.” (Ephesians 3:20, NIV)
Praising God through Disappointment
When begging God doesn’t work (it didn’t for me, no matter how much mascara ran down my face), you need to get worshipping. You have nothing to lose, and so much to gain if you praise God through your disappointment. It not only gets your mind off yourself, but it allows your soul freedom to soak in His presence. Worshipping is cathartic and can re-inspire you to move toward your best future.
Do What You Can
I’m not advising you to just wait for life to happen. Use what you have. Act. And, watch God work. You might want to start a small business, but don’t have the resources. Meet with local business owners and absorb all the information and encouragement you can. You might find God is moving, or you might find God has a dream job for you through networking. If you want to blog, do writing projects for free to start building your online presence and portfolio of work. Have faith in the resources and talents you already have and take that first, small step.
A ‘no’ from God can be worse than getting dumped. Just know that He loves you and has what’s best for you. Lean into Him when you’re discouraged. He’ll walk with you through it.
I’ve been back to New York many times and enjoyed more than great bagels. I even recorded again! What I realized is that God is bigger than my dream, bigger than my denial.