There’s a song that holds a special place in my heart. A song that came out during one of the hardest parts of my childhood. It is based off the story in Luke 7. The song is ‘Alabaster Box’ by CeCe Winans.
The line that wrecks my heart every single time:
You weren’t there the night He found me
You did not feel what I felt
When he wrapped his love all around me
You see, I grew up in a world of masks. I watched as the people around me wore masks. Masks to hide hurt. Masks to hide fear. Masks to hide anger.
I learned early on how to pretend. Pretend I had it together. Pretend I came from a perfect little family. When behind doors, life felt like hell on Earth.
When I hear this song, I am reminded. Reminded of my Jesus. How even in the hard times, I felt His presence. Reminded that even in the dark days, He held us.
You see this lady spoken of in Luke 7:35-50 was looked down upon by the religious people. She had grown accustomed to the insults and stares. She had so much to hide. Instead, she walked into His presence knowing exactly who she was. Yet also knowing exactly who He was.
She was not worthy enough to be in the presence of Jesus – they presumed.
He welcomes all. He desires the person under the mask we put on. He wants vulnerability and truth. Not a perfect little picture for the church.
He found me in my darkest hour. When perfection was my idol. When pleasing the church was my normal.
Piece by piece He removed the masks I had found myself wearing. Masks I thought were mine. Masks that I had grown so accustomed to, I thought they were my identity.
He found me. The me He so tenderly created, and He gave me permission to be her. Fully.
The people around me? They may judge my praise-filled life. They may judge me for boasting about His love so much. They may judge me for walking a narrow path. They may even judge me based off the me they knew.
He lavished His love upon me, and in return I can do nothing less than lavish mine upon Him. He gave me freedom to be myself in a world that expects me to be what it wants. He gave me life when life tried to hold me captive. He gave me access to His heart when I felt so alone.
And, He offers the same to us all.
The masks we all grow to wear? We can lay them at the feet of Jesus.
He knows the cost.
Watch CeCe Winans sing “Alabaster Box”: